Hey you guys. Look, during the Comedy Festival I get all kinds of offers from newspapers to assist in the death of paid journalism, by writing for free to plug my comedy shows. This year it gives me great pleasure to announce that I’ve written a think piece for the ‘Herald Sun’ on why Melbourne is the worlds funniest city. Its written in direct response to a piece by Loretta Maine, (UK) who has decided to shit in the face of Melbourne by saying that it is not a funny place because we like coffee and have sunshine. I’ll allow you to make up you’re own mind, by only providing my argument below. xo
Melbourne is without a doubt the funniest city in the world. I can assure you of this as I have travelled to almost every city in the world, bar those engulfed in dangerous wars. Not one single metropolis comes close for hilarity. The list of funny cities in the world is divided into two different groups.
1 – places where funny people come from – Dublin, Glasgow & Boston.
2 – places that are funny – Tokyo & Montreal
One might assume that a city where some of the world’s funniest people come from might be the funniest place in the world. However when I went looking for funny in Dublin, Ireland all I found were investment bankers screaming in the streets and children dark from Guinness strapping flowers to guard rails as rain poured down 26 hours a day. In Boston, USA I thought I would discover the jackpot. Surely a city responsible in some part for the shaping of comedians Louie CK, Denis Leary, Steve Carrel, Steven Wright and Amy Poehler would be the funniest place in the world. But all I found were squinty eyed locals who whispered, “you’re not better than me” before climbing back into their brownstones. Boston it turns out is the birthplace of, Tall Poppy Syndrome not comedy. Then finally in Glasgow, Scotland I didn’t even get a chance to look for funny because, the moment I stepped off the train I was verbally abused by a man for the entirety of my three-day stay there.
The next destination on my search for funny was Tokyo, Japan. Surely, one cannot find a funnier and more bizarre city than Tokyo, with its LOLCATS and certifiably crazy dress sense Tokyo would definitely provide ample LOL’S. Alas no, while there were oddities in abundance I could not understand anything happening there due to my lack of Japanese and the only comedy I could understand was about harpooning whales with a canon. Finally Montreal was the final stop, the home of ‘Just For Laughs’ and ‘Cirque Du Soleil.’ I tried in Montreal I really did. I went to see the biggest comedy in town, which was a man in a leather mask with a ponytail playing the violin but the only funny thing I saw in there was a man dropping a cup of tea at a bus stop and it was only a 3 star laugh if I’m honest.
Melbourne is the funniest city by far, sure the comedy festival is amazing but it’s the little things that make us the funniest. Like losing the title of ‘Capital City’ to Canberra in 1913 or naming one of our roughest industrial outer suburbs, ‘Sunshine.’